I feel like a monster
by delilanah
Summary: He could always feel it in him, at every moment of the day. He kept it under lock down, to keep him safe, his friends, but most importantly to keep her safe.


AN: I don't own the song monster by skillet

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 _ **The secret side of me, I never let you see.**_

 _ **I keep it caged but I can't control it.**_

 _ **So stay away from me, the beast is ugly.**_

 _ **I feel the rage and I just can't hold it.**_

 _ **It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls.**_

 _ **It comes awake and I can't control it.**_

 _ **Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head.**_

 _ **Why won't somebody come and save me from this? Make it end!**_

He could always feel it in him, at every moment of the day. He kept it under lock down, to keep him safe, his friends, but most importantly to keep _her_ safe. He had little control of it, despite his tight hold of it, it was like trying to hold onto water in a cupped hand, it slipped out sometimes. Every time it did, he'd try and pull it back in, to lock it down again, but sometimes he couldn't' pull it back in, he'd have to leave the area for a bit, for the others safety, for _hers_. He didn't want her to see him like that, it didn't like her, he usually felt so calm around her. But sometimes she'd hit a nerve and it would real up and slip through his fingers, making him lash out at her, he'd leave to keep her safe, which he knew she hated, but he had too.

 _ **I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin.**_

 _ **I must confess that I feel like a monster.**_

 _ **I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun.**_

 _ **I must confess that I feel like a monster.**_

 _ **I, I feel like a monster.**_

 _ **I, I feel like a monster.**_

Soul could feel it writhing in him, like it wanted to break free, to tear through his skin and consume everything he cared about. Oni often poked at it, trying to anger the monster inside him, but Soul kept a tight hold on it. Today, Oni was poking at it extra hard, as Soul was in an irritated mood. He knew it would only get worse, Maka was on her period, which means she's highly emotional and will snap at the smallest things. The albino man leaned back against the couch, trying to ignore the monster and Oni. He flipped channels on the tv, not really paying attention. "Soul!" yelled Maka.

 _ **My secret side I keep hid under lock and key.**_

 _ **I keep it caged but I can't control it.**_

 _ **'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down.**_

 _ **Why won't somebody come and save me from this? make it end!**_

He could feel the monster twitch at Maka's angry tone and he tightened his grip on it, not wanting to lose control. The ash blonde stomped out and threw his dirty laundry at him. "Learn to do the laundry Soul!" She said angrily. The monster raised it's hideous head and Oni gave it a hard poke. Soul got up quickly and glared at the woman he cared so much for. "It's your turn to do the laundry!" he said, clenching his fists, he had to keep it under control, if he didn't, the monster would rip apart his sanity, he'd lose it and her.

"No, it's your turn! I did it last week!"

"Bullshit! I did it because I had to look at your tiny fucking bras!"

"No I did it because I have to pick up your underwear off the floor!"

He was starting to lose control, the monster writhed inside him, it wanted out, it wanted control. "Fine, you know what? Whatever, I'm fucking done!" he said angrily, grabbing his jacket and his keys, he knew it hurt Maka when he left, but he had to keep her safe. "Please don't leave Soul!" Maka said quickly. The albino gripped the doorknob tightly then let go and went to his room slamming the door behind him.

 _ **It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp.**_

 _ **There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart.**_

 _ **No one can hear me scream; maybe it's just a dream.**_

 _ **Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster.**_

He sat on his bed, his head down and his fingers grabbing his hair, his conscious in the black room. He sat in his chair and looked around the room as he got up. "Where are you Oni?" he called. "Welcome back Soul." Said Oni, walking out of the shadows, he wasn't the little ogre any more, he was a black and white version of Soul. "Cut the formalities asshole, why are you doing this?" Soul growled. Oni gave Soul a sharp toothed smile. "Doing what?" he asked innocently.

"Don't play fucking dumb!" Soul yelled angrily. "Now now Soul, watch your temper, wouldn't want you to lose control." Oni said slyly. "Although, actually, I would _love_ for you to lose control, so why don't you?" Soul clenched his fists. "I'm not giving into that monster." He said.

Oni laughed. "There is no monster, Soul, it's the darkness in your soul, the anger and lust and madness, it wants out." Soul narrowed his eyes. "What lust?" Oni snapped his fingers and a spotlight hit a shadowed area. "Your lust for her of course." Soul looked at the spot light and clenched his fists. "Maka.." he said softly. It was her, he could feel her wave length. She wore the black blood dress, her hair in their normal pigtails.

She walked over to him, her heels clicking on the checker floor. "I was worried about you." She said, looking up at him. "your soul wave length was going crazy….what does Oni mean by your lust for me?" she asked softly. The albino blushed slightly and glared at Oni. "He's messing with us. "he mumbled.

"now Soul, you shouldn't lie to your meister, should I tell her about your fantasies? The dreams you have about her? The way you moa-." Soul hissed and blushed. "shut the fuck up!" he said quickly. Maka blushed slightly.

"now then, Soul." Oni said. "im going to give you a choice." He suddenly grabbed Maka by the pigtails and yanked her away, forcing her to kneel. "You can either let 'the monster' in, let it have control or…." Oni's finger turned to a small scythe blade and he cut into Maka's shoulder, making her scream.

"Maka!" Soul yelled and ran to her but Oni held up a bloody hand. "Ah ah ah Soul, I gave you your choices." Soul let out a low growl. "That's it Soul, let it in, let the anger take over." Oni could feel the monster and clenched his fists tight. Oni cut deep into Maka's shoulder again, Making cry out, tears running down her face.

The albino weapon started to shake, he hated seeing Maka cry. Maka… the person he cared for most in the world, the person who cooked for him and cared for him. He snapped and let out a roar, but it didn't sound human, it was animalistic, bloodthirsty. He ran at Oni, his arm becoming a scythe, he swung at the black and white image of himself, making it disappear.

The sly laugh of Oni was all around him. He let out another roar, his arm returning to normal. He picked up the gramophone and threw it against the wall, shattering it. He let out a loud mad laugh and grabbed his hair then grabbed the chair and smashed it to the floor with a mad grin.

"Soul." Her voice made his head snap around and he grinned, his pupils so large that the red was almost gone. "Maaaakaaa." He sang in a dark voice. "Come here, Maaaka." He said and giggled. "let me play with you." He took a few steps toward her. Maka stepped back. "Soul, your scaring me…" she said, holding her bleeding shoulder. "don't be scared maaaka , its only me." He stepped closer.

Maka backed away more. "No, you're not my Soul." She said. "You're….you're not the man I love…" she said softly. Souls stopped and he blinked, his eyes going normal, his mad grin falling. "What...?" He asked softly. "You…love me?" Maka sniffled and nodded. Soul stepped to her and pulled her into a hug. "Maka…." He mumbled. "You have to get away from me." The tiny woman looked up at him. "Why?" he put his hand on her cheek. "Maka, I'm dangerous, I could hurt you or something worse." He said softly.

Maka shook her head. "We'll fight this together! Like we always do!" she said. Soul shook his head. "I can't control the monster, maka, I can't keep it in, it keeps getting out.." Maka leaned up and kissed his chin. A shock went through his soul when her lips met his skin, it made the monster back away quickly, as if the light that came from Maka might burn it.

Maka looked at him. "I won't leave, I won't let you do this alone." She said softly. " I love you Soul Evans." She had a stubborn look and her cheeks where red. The albino man smiled softly and put a hand on her cheek. " I love you too." He mumbled and pressed his lips to hers. The monster fled into the darkness of his soul, still there but hiding from the light that was Maka.

 _ **I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin.**_

 _ **I must confess that I feel like a monster.**_

 _ **I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun.**_

 _ **I must confess that I feel like a monster.**_

He could still feel it, at every moment of the day. He kept it under lock down, to keep him safe, his friends, but most importantly to keep _her_ safe, his Maka. Months had passed since the black room, he was happy, the monster was held tight by the light that was Maka's love. If it raised it's ugly head or tried to get to Soul, Maka would brush her lips across his chin or insist that he cuddle with her. Soul didn't mind the Monster anymore, if it got really antsy, Soul got a special 'treat' from Maka, she'd walk around in _just_ his old jacket and the underwear Blair had got her. It made Soul VERY happy. Everything about his Maka made him happy. He even thanked the monster once or twice for bringing him and Maka together, as long as he had her, the monster wouldn't bother him.

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AN: its weird I know, but it just sorta came to me. please tell me what you think!

Hey! Im actually looking for some to rp soma with me! Its great inspiration! Please please if your interested pm me!


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